Buddha Lives

I did some shopping yesterday with gift certificates that I received for my birthday. I bought a dress at H&M that I really like, but I debated a long time before I made the purchase. The problem with the dress is that it doesn't disguise my Buddha belly. I decided to buy the dress, deciding that I could do one of three things:

1) Try the dress on at home with some Spanx, to see it that provides adequate belly suppression

2) Return the dress and find something more figure appropriate

3) Embrace the belly

This really caused me a lot of internal debate because while I want to do #3, I've spent years doing #1 or #2. I'm struggling at the moment with balancing my desire to have a healthy body image and not buy into the standards promoted by the media (side A) and my goal to have a healthy body and the ideas that have been ingrained in me regarding what constitutes an attractive body (side B).

Recently, I've made some sincere efforts to change the types of food that I eat, so I feel that I'm making some progress in the healthy body department. I'm still not on track with my exercising, but I have been walking to the brown line (instead of taking the bus to the red) so I think I'm getting in about 30 minutes of walking a day.

So, my biggest hurdle is the mental one. How do I simultaneously accept myself as I am and also want to change (in order to be healthier)? I like being curvy and I'm only slightly above the BMI for my height, but I still don't feel at peace with my body issues. Further complicating the issue is that the Buddha belly can easily be mistaken for a baby bump (as has already been done by my crazy coworker). My feelings are very much unresolved.

Other news: In regards to the situation I posted about yesterday, I ended up assisting with part of the distributions yesterday and received a thank you this morning that seemed rather sincere. I took the advice (except that about the bathroom) and didn't say anything. It seems that was the best approach as the task is done and I haven't heard anything else about it.

I heard from JR in Hong Kong. His first round of competition went very well. In his words: "Yesterday went wonderfully. I rocked it hard. My teammates have been saying all last evening how awesome I was. Even Professor Moses said that it was great. She had no constructive critism, which means she was really impressed. She always has some points of improvement." He will have to wait to see if his team advances to the final round and if so, which team members will present.